


What You Do for a Good Time

by EmilieNicolia



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), F/M, Fluff, Gen, Keebo tries his best, M/M, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Roommates, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-06 09:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20289217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilieNicolia/pseuds/EmilieNicolia
Summary: “Don’t you know I could die, Keeboy? Like if you don’t take care of me, I’ll die right here.” Kokichi’s voice was hoarse, and he forced a cough out of his congested chest to milk the demand. “You wouldn’t want to be held responsible, wou -” he choked on a real cough this time.“Affirmative. I will do everything to keep you healthy while you are in my care.”--Or, Keebo has Kokichi locked up in their dorm because he’s sick, and Kokichi just wants to break out and pull pranks on his classmates.





	1. Chapter 1

At first, Kokichi really liked the idea of having his classmates doting over his poor sick self, but then it began interfering with his usual everyday routines, like: drinking Panta, playing pranks, and bothering his beloved Shuichi. Normally, being roommates with a robot was fun because Keebo was so delightfully naive and gullible, and he could’ve milked this situation to the bank but it was his own damn mouth that got him into this situation to begin with. 

_ “Don’t you know I could die, Keeboy? Like if you don’t take care of me, I’ll die right here.” Kokichi’s voice was hoarse, and he forced a cough out of his congested chest to milk the demand. “You wouldn’t want to be held responsible, wou -” he choked on a real cough this time. _

_ “Affirmative. I will do everything to keep you healthy while you are in my care.”  _

And from that moment on - on that inconveniently placed Friday night - he was under dorm arrest. He just has to endure until everyone went to class on Monday, then he could slip out and wreak much needed havoc. 

-

He doesn’t force Kokichi to go through the entire routine this morning, he’s allowed to stay in his pajamas and doesn’t move from the bed when that sweet Keebaby feeds him oatmeal like a good servant. He likes this part, when he can just lie back and get spoiled with care. He almost misses it when he’s left alone once eight o’clock rolls around. Key word being almost.

He throws the sheets off once the clamor from the hallway dies down. Everyone should be out of the building by now. Finally, he can sneak out and - the doorknob doesn’t budge when he tries twisting it. He chuckles to himself, it’s just locked that’s all, so he unlocks it and - 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He pauses, wipes his sweaty hands on the cotton of his shorts, then attempts again. Nothing. His hand just slides over the surface, full resistance. Oh that tincan, that unwavering killjoy. 

He sits on the floor to mull this over; he would pick the lock if that were the problem, but no that robot did something extra to the door that prevents him from opening it from this side of the door... the side that has the lock. He bitterly plucks his phone from the charger and texts the culprit. 

\-- 

**Dice Dice Baby: ** heyyy~ keebot. what if i have to pee? 

**Beep-Boop: ** We went to the bathroom before I left, you don’t have to pee.

**Dice Dice Baby** : that??? doesn’t??? mean??? i won’t have to go later, like nooooow? how will i leave the room? tell me tell me tell me. i have to go pp. pretty pls.

**Beep-Boop** : You don’t have to, I was conditioning your body during the weekend to go at certain times so you would not have this problem. When I arrive from classes today, I will take you to the bathroom. 

**Dice Dice Baby** : ASDASDSUJAK

**Dice Dice Baby** : WTF?! E X C U S E M E!?

**Beep-Boop:** I confiscated the water so you would not go unsupervised, but if you must, I left some newspaper in a corner for you. 

**Dice Dice Baby: ** what asdhOFH

**Dice Dice Baby** : of course the R O B O T doesn’t understand how humans use the bathroom!

**Beep-Boop** : How rude. I have an encylipidea’s worth of knowledge about restroom etiquette. 

**Dice Dice Baby** : so is that your kink?

**Dice Dice Baby: ** actually idc. just tell me how to open the door

**Beep-Boop: ** No.

**Dice Dice Baby: ** but if you tell me i could peee on youuu~ ;) 

**Beep-Boop: ** Absolutely not.

**Dice Dice Baby** : :( ur no fun

\--

He scoffs at the messages and decides he isn’t getting anywhere this way. He has to take more drastic measures. He opens the video calling app and dials his most frequent contact. 

He answers after two rings. 

“Hewwo?” Kokichi angles the camera so his eyes and eyebrows are only visible. 

“Please, not now.” Shuichi lowers his hat over his face, showcasing his growing smile. The camera keeps bouncing around, and he can see the trees near the school entrance. It wouldn’t take him too long to come back and investigate the door for him. His voice becomes soft when he says, “Also, good morning.”

“Good morning Shuuichi,” his voice cracks with phlegm in his throat and a smile, but then his voice fills with frenzied energy that he normally doesn’t have this early in the morning. “Shuuuuichi, you wouldn’t believe what Keeboy did to me. He’s treating me like a dog!” 

“I highly doubt that.” 

“Would I lie to you? Of course not, I’m the most honest person I know!” He cackles, leaning his head back, the angle showing more of his face. “But seriously, he set up newspaper for me to relieve myself on, look.” He double taps the screen and aims the phone at the neatly places papers towards the corner of the room, near the trash can. 

“Maybe he’s a terrible basketball player.” Shuichi laughs as his face fills up Kokichi’s whole screen. “I’m sure he doesn’t expect you to actually use that, he has a sense of humor.” 

“Come and break me free. I’ll reward you greatly,” he purs into the phone, and all he got in response was a mix between a laugh and grunt - as if he doesn’t like his rewards! “Please come and take a look at the door at least, so I know what I'm dealing with. Plus, I don’t like the idea of being alone.” 

“You have ulterior motives.” 

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t!” 

“You were just texting me last night how you couldn’t wait to sneak out and mess up Kiyotaka Ishimaru’s campaign posters while everyone was in class.” 

“I would never do that to our beloved student council president Taka.” 

“Lies.”

“Whether it is or isn’t is not up for discussion. Keebo locked me in. I’m a caged animal, Shuichi. He doesn’t even let me drink Panta, he has no sense of humanity.” He lies on the floor, turns to his side, and just stares at the horrible video quality of Shuichi’s nose and lips. 

“Well, I kinda stand behind him with the Panta decision,” his eyes come into view for a second before it drops back down to his mouth. “But everything else I disagree with, sorry Kokichi.” 

He heard Kaede laughing in the background with a few other students. “Is my jailor there?” 

“Yes.” The camera swings around to show Keebo and Miu looking over a textbook together before class. 

“Ask him how to open the door, pretty pretty please. Hide me in your pocket, but keep your earbuds in so I can talk dirty to you.” 

“O-Okay.” 

The screen goes black before he registers what's happening, and then he feels his chest swell with satisfaction. He loves telling his boyfriend what to do and him actually being obedient; it was a different satisfaction he received from ordering Gonta around. 

Wait. Why didn’t he think of this before? He mentally kicked himself for not doing this sooner. 

\-- 

**Dice Dice Baby** : hello gonta. 

\--

He hears the familiar chime ring in the background, but it’s quickly followed by, “ _ Oh Gonta forgot to silence his cellphone. Gonta don’t want to break the classroom rules _ .” 

Kokichi slaps his forehead against the cool wooden floor, it makes his fever-induced headache spike, but his growing frustration might be partially to blame. Gonta is too impressionable, he wishes that giant baby of man didn’t follow school rules to a fault.

“Class hasn’t even started, he could look at his phone. Shu-baby, tell him I sent him a bug video.” He rubs his forehead and waits for the message to change from  _ unread _ to  _ read. _

“Good morning Gonta, I think Kokichi is going to send you a funny bug video soon, so you should check your phone.” 

“Kokichi is such a nice friend, Gonta will check right away!” A content gasp tails his response. "A message!"

\--

**Buggyboi: ** Hello friend!

**Dice Dice Baby: ** gonta :( i’m stuck in my room and can’t show you this funny bug video. you HAVE to HELP me get out so i can show you.

\--

“ _ Gonta will be right back. _ ” Gonta’s voice overlaps Shuichi’s for a moment. 

“ _ Good morning Keebo and Miu _ .” Shuichi’s voice carries more weight than before. Looks like those public speaking classes are finally having an effect on him.

“ _ Good morning Shuichi _ !” 

“ _ Hey Shupoochie, _ ”

“ _ Keebo, I have a question. _ ” Kokichi drums his fingers on the floor, come on, ask ask ask ask. “ _ Kokichi has been really sick. Would I be able to drop off some soup for him _ ?” 

“Aww, how considerate of you, my beloved.” Kokichi hums into the phone. He bets all of his whoopee cushions that his boyfriend's face is pinched in that embarrassed expression that forces him to hide more into his own hat.

“ _ There is no need for that, I fed him this morning. He is not scheduled to eat again until after classes. _ ” 

“I told you, I’m just a dog to him!”

“ _ What if he gets hungry though?” _

_ “He’s only supposed to eat twice a day.”  _

“Dog!” As payback, Kokichi pulls out some scissors and starts cutting the edges of Keebo’s blanket. If he’s going to be treated like a pet, he’ll damage property like the good little pet he is.

“ _ Heh,” Shuichi begins lecturing Keebo on how to properly take care of a sick Kokichi.  _

“I promise that once I’m no longer sick, I’m going to make out with you so hard that you’ll see stars.” He murmurs mostly to himself but Shuichi stutters into his next few sentences. 

The ground quakes at a steady pace with the soft clap of shoes on the carpeted hallway outside. Looks like his savior has arrived. Kokichi’s clammy hands brush the shredded blanket bits off his pajama shorts before he crawls towards the door, abandoning his phone by Keebo’s bed. 

“Is my favorite person behind that door?” The question meets a gleeful  _ mhm  _ from Gonta on the other side of the door. 

"I've been wanting to show you this hilarious bug video but it wouldn't send, so show you in person is the best way. Can you open the door?" This is so easy. Why did he even go through the trouble of calling Shuichi for help? 

He strolls back over to swipe his phone from the bed. He blocks out the conversation that his boyfriend was having on the other side of the call. Instead, he focuses on finding an appropriate video to show Gonta once he opens the door.  _ Cats versus Bugs  _ seems cute enough. 

"Gonta thinks the door is locked." 

"Well duh Gonta, there should be something on your side to open the door though." Kokichi waves off his annoyance by watching vine compilations.

_ "So there's a child-lock on the door?"  _ Shuichi’s voice brazenly cuts through the YouTube video's audio as if he's been repeating himself a few times but hasn't been heard. What did he just say? 

"What kind of lock?" 

_ "A child-lock is on the door then?"  _ Does he detect a hint of annoyance? It doesn't matter because it clicks in his head. 

He picks up the phone and oh so calmly, the best that his sore throat can muster, yells into the phone. "HE PUT A CHILD LOCK ON THE DOOR?!" 

" _ Ow Kokichi _ ," he yelps and there's an angry Keebo investigating further. 

"Gonta don't understand why the door won't open." 

"It's fine Gonta, I just found out gentlemen can't open this special type of door anyways." He coughs a little, that wasn't a good idea.

"Gonta is... gentleman?" He sounds like a puppy.

" _ Ah ha, nice try Kokichi, but you aren't allowed to leave the room. _ " Keebo shouts at him, he's been discovered… oh the joy. " _ You cannot spread your illness to _ -" The call abruptly ends, oops his finger slipped. 

A cellphone rings in the hallway. 

"Gonta is receiving a call from Keebo. He says Gonta must return to class before teacher. Goodbye Kokichi." His voice fades off down the hallway. 

If Kokichi were being honest, he would key Keebo’s suit like a car, but he guesses that’s probably why he’s locked up in his room in the first place - so he couldn’t give into those petty impulses. Whatever, it’s not like he can’t figure out another way. A supreme leader always has a plan b. 

He eyes the window above their closet. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shenanigans and poor kokichi gets yelled at too many times

Kokichi still thinks it’s a good idea when he finishes the last knot on the makeshift rope he made from bedsheets. The idea is still looking golden when he shoves the desk in place right below the window; he sets a storage bin full of Keebo’s rust-removers on top of the desk for extra height. It’s only when he flips the window open does he see that maybe the bedsheets are more of a movie cliche rather than an actual escape route. 

The doubt lasts for only a second. 

He ties on end of the rope to the desk’s leg and then he hurls the rest out of the window. This is around the time his cough medicine starts giving him false confidence. Should he have checked how long the blanket was before he pulled himself up to the ledge? No, of course not, how could  _ he _ ever be wrong? Right. 

He’s so wrong, but the realization doesn’t hit him just yet.

It’s a wide window, so Kokichi has enough space to adjust his balance and then he swings both feet out the window, like the self proclaimed daredevil he is. Only, it was purely the cough medicine’s fault. The weight of his lower body dangling is almost enough to make him pee himself, if he had to pee (screw Keebo and his weird conditioning). His hands are locked in a death grip on the frame while he kicks his feet for purchase against the brick building. 

Hanging there really helps him see the weak points in his idea. 

“I’m sick, why did I think I could do exercise? I don’t even do any when I’m healthy!” He curses when he finally manages to find a groove in the wall where his feet can rest. 

"I could climb back in and sleep from this exhausting workout, or?" He maneuvers his hands over to the rope and - his hands burn from how quickly the fabric races across his palms. 

He clutches harder despite the pain, and he forces his legs to tangle in some shape or form with the rope too. His sliding comes to a halt, maybe Atua exists. His grip doesn’t relax, he takes this as an opportunity to breathe some before moving forward. Once the air in his lungs feels softer, he tries moving down. 

Being a supreme leader doesn’t necessarily mean he’s supreme at everything, that being said, his math game is definitely NOT on point. He’s at the end of the rope, he knew he could’ve tied more strips together, but that’s asking too much. He’s not the most patient person and tying all of those knots took time, so after what felt like an appropriate amount of time, he just threw the length out the window and that’s that. Now. He’s dangling around the second floor, which is an improvement from the fourth floor.

“I could jump.” He says as he stares straight down. It could be the way the rope is slightly swaying, but he swears it looks like he’s ten stories high. “I could totally do this.” 

This goes on for a few minutes. 

“1...2....3… GO!” He opens his eyes, but his hands are still fastened to the rope. This is going nowhere. He should just climb up and wait until Keebo comes back and then he could escape that way. He starts pulling himself up, and the rope feels more strained than before. He makes eye contact with a knot coming loose, and he can’t make it in time to reach past it. 

“Oh, fuck me.” And he falls. 

-

Not that it was anybody’s business, but Kokichi has  _ some _ talent when it comes to drawing - nothing on the scale of Angie’s, but he’s not completely talentless in the field. Sometimes, he and Angie like to draw together, and he’s been given full access to her lab because of it. 

He picks up spray cans and those fancy copic markers that she’s always raving about, and he shoves it into his bag that he kept in his locker. He tries not to fill it too much with the spray cans, he still needs room for more stuff, but it’ll be a while before he can get to  _ that _ part.

He steps out and tests the markers on Tsumugi and Hifumi’s anime club posters. He goes for an iconic symbol, and he brushes his fingers over the paper afterwards. It doesn’t smear. This will work perfectly. Looks like the rest of the posters around the school could use a tune-up. 

\- 

“You can’t prove anything.” Kokichi chirps in a sing-song tune when Keebo stampedes into their room with a contorted face that just screams his rage. 

“Your knowledge of something is evidence enough!” Keebo’s eyes have a triumphant gleam. He almost looks like he’s capable of something dangerous when he towers over Kokichi’s bedside like this. 

“Nihihihi~ Wow, you could easily pass for a moronic human with that logic. Anyways, I’m not speaking until my lawyer is present.” He rolls over and continues to watch Netflix on his phone. 

“First of all, that is rude,” Keebo pulls on his roommate’s shoulder so he’s facing his general direction, even if it is directed at his phone rather than his face. “And second of all, you do not need a lawyer.” 

“Where’s my detective, he’ll crack the case.” 

“I am curious to know… what kind of case do you think this is?” Kokichi’s eyes flicker ever so slightly to his before they glue themselves back to the device three inches from his face. 

Kokichi doesn’t respond, and as punishment, Keebo activates floodlights from the panels near his eyes. So this is going to be like an interrogation now, isn’t it? 

“Oh, I don’t know.” He gruffs, closing his eyes and shielding behind his palms. “Whenever you storm in here like that you always make it seem like I did something, so I’m just assuming that it’s another one of those situations. Plus, you haven’t said otherwise.” He smiles up at his roommate, eyes still shut, before he pulls the covers over his head and insulates himself from the light. “So Keeboy, am I wrong?”

“Because it ends up being you who did do something!”

“Whatever, that’s irrelevant.” He sticks his gloved hand (can’t have Keebaby seeing the rope burn on his hands) out and waves it as if shooing away the idea. Keebo takes it as a signal to turn off his lights. “Anyways caretaker, I have to use the bathroom. I threw up on your bed, so goes to show how well your conditioning works.” 

“My apologies, I will work harder to make you feel better. But.” There’s a pause. “Where are my bedsheets?”

“I threw it out the window because it smelled bad.” The covers slip off of his head and an innocent smile flashes underneath.

“I sometimes wish I had a more tolerable roommate.” 

Kokichi is great at faking tears, but these tears came out a little more easily than he’d like to admit. “That hurt.” He angrily swipes his fists over his eyes, and peeks to see if the door is open. It is. 

“You know it is true.” 

“HOW MEAN! WAAAAH!” He climbs out of the bed, still busying himself with making a real show with his tears. “Shuichi wouldn’t do this to me.” He runs out as soon as Keebo is too shocked to chase after him. 

-

There’s growling before any other noise. 

“Where is that little punk!?” An abrasive voice cuts through the hallway, and footsteps are leading up to Shuichi’s door. 

Kokichi takes it as his cue to hide under Shuichi’s covers. Beside him, Shuichi lifts the blanket slightly to send him a questioning look, but as soon as the door bursts open, he slaps the opening shut with his hand. If Mondo didn’t know any better, it would look like he was tugging at himself - but Shuichi wouldn’t do that with his roommate in the room, would he? Who knows, Kokichi hasn’t asked yet, but he might if he gets out of this situation without any extra bruises - from genius escape routines or otherwise (meeting Mondo’s fists). 

Maybe the freshmen this year are a little more voyeuristic than his class. 

“Can I help you with anything?” Shuichi asks politely from outside of the blankets. Kokichi wants to give Mondo something to be embarrassed about, so he lets his hand travel slowly along the inside of his boyfriend’s thigh. Shuichi blocks the finish line with his hand. 

“Listen, I know this is your room, but don’t touch yourself while I'm here, kay?” Mondo’s voice comes off with disgust, an edge that might unravel into a spray of obscenities. 

“I’m c-cold. I w-wasn’t touching myself.” Shuichi must be so startled! His poor sweetheart had to restart his sentence so many times. Kokichi squeezes his thigh as reassurance. 

“So what are you doing in our room?” Rantaro’s voice interrupts the shuffling noise. 

“The robot’s roommate…” the closet door creaks open, and hangers scratch over the metal racking. “I was told he would be here.” 

“Heh,” Shuichi’s body vibrates with a chuckle. “I don’t think he’s in the closet anymore.” 

“Oh my god, that’s it! That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard. I’m leaving. He’s under the covers!” Rantaro grumbles.

Kokichi flips the sheets off in a frenzy, “Rantaro, you snake!” 

“Sorry Shuichi, but I saw what he did to Korekiyo’s room.” He throws up a peace sign and begins walking backwards out of the door to direct apologetic eyes towards his room, and at the last second, his peace sign transforms into just a middle finger - eyes pinned to Kokichi. “Perish.”

“You little shit bag.” Mondo stomps towards them with balled up fist.

“Um, what is this about?” Shuichi throws an arm out in front of Kokichi, pushing him back against the pillows. 

“Yeah, this is the first time I’ve been out of my room! What are you trying to accuse me of?” Kokichi leans more into the hoarse part of his throat, hoping for sympathy.

A hand covered in paint and tape lands on Mondo’s shoulder from behind. “Bro, do not worry. I will handle this.” Kiyotaka steps out from behind him, and the iconic white uniform looks disheveled but clean compared to the mess of his hands and face. 

“You can do it bro.” They smile at each other, and then it’s back to business. 

“Are you the delinquent who defaced half the school with the male genitalia? He addresses Kokichi.

“How would I be able to do that if I were -” cough cough- “sick.”

“That’s a fair point, let’s look elsewhere for our culprit, bro.” Kiyotaka turns on his heel, and Kokichi decides that he likes this Taka fella. It’s easy to swindle the president, almost as easy as Keeboy.

“That doesn't mean the little shit didn't do it!” Mondo argues. 

“Language.” He gives Kokichi another once over, and Kokichi coughs on cue. “Surely the culprit had to be in good health to perform such a feat!” 

They turn to leave, Mondo looking defeated. He looks like a pathetic dog following after his boyfriend like that, so Kokichi sticks his tongue out and gives Shuichi a tight hug. 

“HE’S FAKING!” Mondo physically spins Kiyotaka to witness the mocking, but Kokichi’s tongue is faster. 

“They won’t leave me alone Shu,” he mumbles loud enough for them to hear. He presses his burning forehead against his boyfriend’s neck. “Make them go away.”

“I know that Kokichi looks like a suspect, but he’s been sick and stayed in his room all day. I’m only giving Keebo a break from monitoring him, so he’s staying in my room until then.” Shuichi cups both hands over Kokichi’s cheeks and makes him face their upperclassmen. “He’s running a very high fever, you can check his temperature.” 

“Check my temperature.” Kokichi perks visibly, kicking off the sheets and piling them onto Shuichi. “Stick a thermometer up my butt.” He quickly positions himself on his elbows and knees. “You can’t fake fevers that way, there’s only one way to do it! Stick a thermometer up my buuuuutt.” 

Their faces burn in mortification, and Mondo mutters something along the lines of  _ these freshmen are fucking weird _ while he feels Kokichi’s forehead and neck instead. Shuichi collects Kokichi back in his lap after the examination. 

Keebo and Tsumugi come to the door, halting at the frame, looking both concerned and fed up - it could be thanks to them being covered in paint and tape. Keebo knocks on the door frame before stepping in a few steps shy of the upperclassmen. “We took down the rest of the posters, and we scrubbed most of the paint off the walls. Gonta and Angie are still working on it. Kirumi is working on damage control.” 

Tsumugi cuts in, “There’s a situation in some of the dorms too… wet toilet paper all over the place. Tenko and Himiko are working on cleaning up the girls’ dorms. 

Kiyotaka’s eyebrows nearly fly off his face. “Where are your RAs?” Rubbing his temples, he takes a deep breath.. “No matter, we must take care of that first, and then… we’ll return to this.” He makes a vague hand gesture, and then walks out of the room with determination. The others file out after him. 

There’s a moment of silence. Brushing some of Kokichi’s hair away from his face, Shuichi plants a kiss on his forehead and garbles out, “you’re so fucked.” 

Kokichi tilts his head back to get a better view, “By you, right?” He tries kissing him back, but he misses by inches and it lands on his chin. Kokichi keeps trying, getting closer each time. This time it’ll work - he cages Shuichi’s head with his hands so he can’t pull back at the last moment like last time. 

Shuichi’s hand flies up and blocks his incoming mouth. “You’re sick. Stop.” He pushes the hand gently against his face. Giving up, Kokichi pulls back, leaning back on his elbows. A mischievous smile erupts.

“Prove to me that I’m sick Mr. Detective.” Kokichi pulls a leg so his knee is even with his ear. “Check my temperature then.” He slaps his butt. He earns a very tired-of-your-shit look.

Shuichi tosses the excess blanket over his boyfriend and ignores his whines and kisses until Kokichi falls asleep from exhaustion (it only took five minutes). 

\- 

“...so inconsiderate....” mumble fog mumble “...even listening to me?” 

He feels water hit his face. He wakes up to Keebo spraying a fucking water bottle at him. 

He sits up and rubs at his eyes; he can feel his muscles locking up from his earlier exertion. “Keebo. You’re such a bully. Let me sleep.” He glares as best as his tired eyes can manage, but he’s pretty sure he has the same effect as Himiko trying to be threatening. “I’m tired.”

“Do you know how hard it is to clean  _ wet  _ toilet paper from furniture? Korekiyo’s room is filled with priceless books and now they’re stained with Minion toilet paper impressions!” 

He blinks slowly and sighs. “You’re the one who locked me up in here so you should know I couldn’t escape. The child-lock was untouched when you came in earlier, wasn’t it?” He’s so tired of this, he might just confess soon if it’ll grant him some peaceful sleep. 

“The vent from Kirumi's room was open. You must've climbed in through there.”

Did he leave that open? Maybe. Was he going to say that he did? Maybe, maybe not, he’ll have to see how he feels in a moment. He stalls for time by flicking off the cap to his cough syrup medicine and chugs some of it. Okay, maybe not.

“I wouldn’t leave such an obvious clue behind.” 

“Where'd you get those gloves then?” Keebo reaches for the cough syrup in his hands, and Kokichi drops it accidentally, trying to keep his hands away from his roommate’s. He slides them underneath his thighs.

Smooth Kokichi, totally not suspicious at all. “What gloves?”

“Let me see your hands.” He orders, getting closer. Kokichi pulls them out and wiggles his gloved fingers at him.

“Well, what you do know? I sure do have gloves on.” Kokichi stands up. “Must’ve been when I was cleaning my vomit from your blanket. You know,” he pulls his hands back when Keebo reaches for them, “when I threw it out of the window.”

“Why are you wearing dirty gloves then?” He tries for the gloves again, but Kokichi ducks and runs to the other side of the room.

“I’m not the type of person who only has one set of gloves, dummy. You never know when I might throw up again.” Kokichi leaps onto Keebo’s bed and begins bouncing. 

“Those are Kirumi’s gloves!” Keebo leaps onto the bed after him. 

“These could be any black gloves. She doesn’t have a trademark on black gloves!” He leaps across to the other bed.

“Kokichi, take them off!” 

“If you want me to strip Keeboy, you'll have to pay me first!” Kokichi squeals when Keebo almost catches him. 

“Only the gloves!”

“IS THAT WHAT YOU TELL MIU WHEN SHE -”

“PLEASE STOP!” Keebo stops suddenly and crumbles into a sitting position on the floor, covering his face. This is the closest the robot has gotten to embarrassment in his own way that isn’t simply mimicry of his classmates. 

Kokichi stares down at his roommate from this height; he revels in the feeling for a second before he does one final bounce and lands neatly on his butt. “Let me sleep then Keebaby.” 

Keebo is silent, his mouth pouting. “Confess your sins first.” His hands fly out and catch of Kokichi’s wrists - so the robot is learning, Kokichi is too impressed to react. 

“Wait.” He snaps himself back to reality when Keebo is too busy smiling at his achievement to inspect the gloves further. “What if it wasn’t me, what if it was that guy… Teruteru?” 

Kokichi can see Keebo doing the math behind his transfixed gaze. After a moment, he drops his hands and immediately exits the room. 

Kokichi fist pumps the air before falling into the bed. If he’s going to deal with the aftermath, he’ll do it after he sleeps some more. 

\- 

Turns out Kokichi didn’t even have to confess to anything because Teruteru gladly accepted the consequences. He wanted the recognition that he was that amazing at drawing detailed dicks. 

“Yeah, he said that he drew them to model after his own - and I quote - his own  _ glistening sausage _ .” Keebo uses his recording function to play back Teruteru’s lustful voice saying the last phrase. Kokichi shutters at the thought, but hey, at least it worked. His mouth is full of oatmeal to come up with a snark reply, but Keebo anticipates this and sets the oatmeal and spoon to the side. “I apologize for blaming you this entire time. Please allow me to make it up to you.” 

Kokichi gulps down his food, puckers his dirty lips out for Keebo to wipe some stray oats away, and then smiles. “Apology denied, but maybe if I have some Panta I’ll reconsider.”

Keebo steps away to grab some from the dining hall, and Kokichi’s phone buzzes at the same time. 

\--

**Elementary, My Dear: ** I fully believe in your potential in everything you do, but HOW did you get away with this unscathed? 

**Dice Dice Baby: ** not completely unscathed ):  _ [picture attachment of raw hands] _

**Elementary, My Dear: ** ): I’m about to come over and give you so many kisses. 

**Dice Dice Baby:** not now. keebo might tie me in with teru. 

**Dice Dice Baby:** you could always skip class tmrw and shower me with kisses then :) maybe you can play nurse~ 

**Elementary, My Dear: ** Okay, I’ll take good care of you tomorrow (p.s. I think you got me sick, scratchy throat). 

**Dice Dice Baby:** scratchy voice you is. SO. HOT. yummy. 

**Dice Dice Baby:** i’m gonna write out a whole script for you. first ur gonna say

**Dice Dice Baby:** i’m tuxedo mask and i’ve cum to fuk you 

**Dice Dice Baby:** and 

**Elementary, My Dear: ** If you’re going to do this, at least wait until tomorrow. Rantaro is in the room, and… 

**Elementary, My Dear: ** Also! I’m not going to cosplay that again! Tsumugi asked too many questions. 

**Dice Dice Baby:** nihihihi

**Dice Dice Baby:** anyways. i was gonna confess. butt. like. i said his name and then keybow left. and here we are. 

**Elementary, My Dear: ** Very proud that you can get away with these things, but you have to apologize to Korekiyo at least. He’s so mad. 

**Dice Dice Baby:** i suddenly can’t read.

**Dice Dice Baby:** brb. keebot has the cocaine <3

**Elementary, My Dear: ** Wat

**Dice Dice Baby** : it’s a lie. muah

\--

Kokichi throws his phone under his pillow and smiles when Keebo hands him a can of grape flavored Panta. “Okay, the apology is half-accepted.” 

“What can I do to be fully accepted?” 

“Leave the door unlocked tomorrow when you’re in class. I want to be able to freely use the bathroom whenever I want.” 

“But, I conditioned you.” Keebo whispers, bowing his head down. “Do you want me to give you more water or…”

“Fine. I want to have the illusion of using it whenever I want to.” 

“I can accept those terms, and I do hope that you can forgive me.” 

Kokichi finishes his Panta and glows at the thought of getting away with his dick graffiti. At least tomorrow, he won’t have to go to such lengths - oh, what he does for a good time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was super fun to write! ahhh! hope everyone who read enjoyed this and feedback is appreciated!! Let me know what you'd like to read next! I think I might try and do one-shots (or something) next.

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted some more Keebo & Kokichi interactions, and then i guess this happened. i'm gonna try to get to the pranking in the next chapter :) hope everyone who read enjoyed this and feedback is appreciated!!


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